Boris Johnson has a wonderful way with words, don’t you think? Not content with making silly jokes about bendy buses, he’s now decided to liken London homes to those a hobbit might live in. “For too long we have built homes to indecently poor standards – fit neither for Bilbo Baggins nor his hobbit friends – and that is indefensible.”
He might have a point, but I’m not sure he manages to make it very eloquently. For a start, I haven’t seen any elves along Southbank searching for a bit of finger bling, have you? No pointy-eared ladies on horses or dragons either. But, joking aside (I’ll try to refrain), the plans that Johnson is talking about actually sound quite positive.
Here’s what’s on the horizon:
• More space in between houses. It might sound obvious, but it’s not something people think about often. Living in a city, it would be really nice to have a bit more green and it would mean not falling over your neighbour as soon as you leave your front door.
• We can look forward to a bigger mix of shapes and sizes as well. Boris doesn’t want the houses to all look the same (expect a lego analogy in his next press conference).
• Bigger spaces! Yes! This is what we want! Because let’s face it, you can’t do anything with that little box room, can you? Nothing. Except maybe hide that ring those hobbits are looking for…
• There are also plans to make houses better ventilated, lighter and airier. Basically just all-round better places to live. That actually sounds pretty good.
• Oh, of course they’ll all be eco-friendly too. But seeing as that’s tacked onto the end of every new government scheme, it’s not that exciting anymore, is it?
All of this sounds great and any improvement to London’s property market is a brilliant thing, but am I going to stop making jokes about Boris and hobbits? What do you think?